When I start working with women, they are unhappy with how much they weigh. They feel ashamed of the number that represents their weight.
When I ask them why they feel this way, I often hear a variation of this response: the number is not a fair representation of who I am. They tell me that when they think about someone else weighing what they weigh, they imagine a person that is lazy, doesn’t take care of themselves, has no control and is a slob. They believe that others have the same perception of them. No wonder they feel ashamed!
I agree that whatever number registers on the scale IS NOT a representation, in any way, of who you are. The number is just a combination of your muscle, fat, organs, and bones – it’s as simple as that.
To really exemplify this point, click here to check out a picture of six women who all weigh 154 pounds. You will be amazed at the different ways 154 pounds can look.
It’s common to think that when you reach a certain number with your weight, you will be a different person. That number will mean something about who you are. However, anytime you look to that number to make you feel a certain way, you are asking for trouble. You will still be the same person when you reach your goal weight.
If you attach too much to the number on the scale and how it defines you, you will likely find yourself stuck with your weight and this is why:
When you are feeling shame, discouragement, frustration, and anger about your weight, you will take action from this place. For many of you, that action may be overeating, berating yourself, using exercise as punishment, depriving/starving yourself, etc. Not one of these behaviors will lead to positive change long-term.
You are basically avoiding yourself and the truth about your body when you fight with the number on the scale. This creates a disconnection from your body. When you are disconnected from your body you don’t listen to what it needs (is it hungry or full?), or honor what it is doing for you. You just want to change it ASAP (see actions in #1 above). In most cases, your body will rebel and go against what you want.
Now I am not asking you to get all excited and happy about what you weigh, I am just asking you to slowly shift to a place of neutrality with your weight. These simple tips can help you:
Start weighing yourself daily. I know this can create a strong reaction in people and can be somewhat controversial. However, the only way you will be able to lessen the charge around your weight is if you start getting comfortable seeing the number. This also creates a more intimate bond with your body.
Notice what you tell yourself about your weight. Write down all the nasty thoughts you have and how you feel. Then go through and question the validity of those thoughts. Are your thoughts and feelings about your weight logical?
Decide what you want to believe about your weight. When I started weighing myself daily, I had to really quite down that inner-mean girl that went on the attack if the scale increased. A good way to do this is to focus on something different to believe. One of the thoughts that helped me through was “I am making better choices for my body every day.” When I focused on this, I felt less discouraged because I knew that as long as I kept making better choices, I would find my healthy weight. Another great thought is “I lost weight once and I can do it again.” I used this thought a lot to create motivation and determination no matter what the scale said.
The bottom line is, once you start viewing the number on the scale as purely feedback, and not a way to define you as a person, then you will have a more peaceful relationship with your body. And when you are feeling good about your body, then you will make choices that reflect that.
*Start your journey towards peace with your body and food today with the FREE 5 day email program: Unleash Your Inner Skinny. Click here to get started!*